Saturday, February 27, 2016

Love In Penang

Ever since I'm back to Penang, life has been quiet. Friends are getting lesser and lesser. It seems less and less meaningful to have a lot of friends around. But more to the quality friendship I'm looking forward. I do miss the life with great friends around. However, I also do accept the fact that this life is not for me anymore at this age.

In December, I meet this guy Vin. Our first meeting was pretty good. We both aced at the first impression. Unfortunately, I could barely accept him being shorter than me. Hence, I wrote a message to him saying you'd be happier with a shorter girl.

Then, he was constantly calling me despite being rejected. All this calls lasted for 2 months plus. And then it gets colder and colder. He doesn't seems to want to be in relationship that much. Priority was put at the least. He wanted to do many other things but not much focus wanted to put on relationship.

I question him and also question myself. What's the point spending happy good times together when the reason for all that was just to have fun and fun that he won't give much damn when you seriously needs him uh? With all the fun, with all the limited resources we both had how the heck we can buy;d a nice home together? What's in it for the huge desire for love relationship inside my heart? Where does it leads me to?

We both love each other but then not sure of how to march forward together.

Is this man my destiny? What will my future looks like? Can I leave the rest to God? Will I be alright in the years to come?

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Where I am

I get number of good feedbacks from people around me. From the top 3 people I spent most of my time with.

Number of things to work around my life. "3 minutes hot temperature"
I made too quick decisions.
Now I just want to upgrade all my short coming and reach my mountain top.
I am having unclear goal vision.
Sorry, I still couldn't figure out how this product can make a leap in the market.
I find that the time has not arrive yet for the community to look for everything via social media.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

What am I to do

  • What am I to do, seeing the man I do not truly like.
  • What am I to do, seeing an opportunity full of doubts and yet seems like he is one good man to follow with
  • What am I to do, having this heart full of inspiration
  • What am I to do, feeling stronger inside and yet starting to doubt the relationship with him?
  • What am I to do, so that I travel the road of greatness
  • What am I to do, so that I can push away gently the the people I do not want to have

Friday, May 9, 2014

Real First Day in HK

Here I am all alone in Hong Kong, looking for inspirations to life. Went walking, oops is more of shopping around town. Bought pretty much souvenir for my friends. Didn't prepare good enough HKD to spend the week here, oh my.

I think I am on a tight budget trip here. Each meal and food bought is taken into consideration in case I don't run out of budget. Heck, how am I suppose to have enough for the rest of the days with the plan to get a pair of beautiful shoes ya?

Shopping up and down and up and down. Plan to walk to Mongkok later on.

Feel pretty tired now. Body little tired. Brain extreme tired. Can't seem to really shut down from the heavy travel.

Traveling is really nice. But then, we can't always be traveling right?

Catch some cold here. Little coughing and sneezing. Getting old. Oh my~~

Sleepy sleepy yawn yawn but can't seem to be really falling asleep. No more coffee tomorrow!!!

Sunday meeting the girls for beer huh???

Should be cool. Bring it on bring it on..

What more can I be writing?? Shopped a lot. After seeing all the cosmetic stuff and now I am left with a tired brain that can't think of anything cool other than chill relax just walk.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Another Story

Allow me a chance for a good life story write up over here.

Lucky days came by, company send me to a fine with Club Med at Pulau Bintan. Off we go and reach the place in short time. Took a rest at the chalet with my colleague and went down to enjoy myself with the rest.

The BBQ session was well prepared and then there's beach volley ball game. I didn't join the game, and was watching the rest playing. My manager join in the game and he seems be able to play fine at it.

After some nice food, and a glass of cocktail I went to join in the game. The players getting more and more. Some come and some go. So I was waiting anxiously for my turn, the alcohol tolerance kick me hard and I was dancing myself there. My face was a little red, it could be from the Sun or from the running in the volley ball game. Most people can't tell that I am getting this red face from the alcohol drinks.

Game was finished, and I am walking off the place to get ready for the next game. Soccer. Whilst I am turning away, a man came calling me from the back and introduced himself as Mike from Australia showing off the pants that he is wearing having the flag of his own country. That moment he introduced himself, I sensed strongly that he is interested in me.

We play soccer together and we're in the same team. The team with the shirt off. We go running up and down. Awh, I don't really know how to play soccer. I am just trying to believe I can play, so I was running everywhere I can just to get some feel of the ball and immediately pass it to another mate.

I go like well done, good shot, good try. When the opponent was having the ball, I run around him and goes like trying to get the ball to make him panic. Mike saw that move from me and repeatedly say that I'm giving reasonably good pressure to him that leads to a better game for us. Huh, I received a soft feeling that he might be attracted to me as he took notice of the qualities I possessed.

Then the night came by, dinner time. I was dressed up in a long dress. Look attractive but I was not having enough energy to dance the night through and so, I was off to bed early even though the party was warming up right there with inviting activities ahead.

Awh, how I miss all that. Life should always be that fun. We should work hard to earn more and more so that we can spend it all well off on a life WORTH living! I miss having a deserving great fun life. Really wished with all my heart that life can sail me away from this norm boring life.. I miss having something I am really attracted towards. And now, I miss Mike so damn much and yet I can't see him. The only thing I am receiving from him is the whatsapp message. What more can life be better off with text messages?

Jump over my story to the second night. With some plan, I save some energy for the night to dance it all out. Before the dancing party, I was at the spa having massage. Right after the massage, my ankle was feeling a little bit uneasy full length of weight was pressing on it.

Still vividly in my mind, I go running excitedly of the night. Quickly grab myself a Margarita for the tempting salt at the circumference of the glass. Within minutes, I finish the drink and we all go into a dancing room to dance our heart out. At that moment, I saw my true self. The me that's been long missing. I can jump up and down and high up and low down like I was in my 16. Suddenly I am 12 years back in life. My mind keep flashing the image of my young self back in gathering, or campfire where we all dance like that cause we are so young and free from worries.

My ankle develop deep pain after all the dancing was over, I was laying on the couch and I see that Mike keep texting me. He sends me message asking all sorts of question and I have to thump him down with my emotional based answer as I am an emotional type of person.

Then I try to stand and my ankle was giving me a hard pain. At the end, he has to carry me on his back. It was such a sweet soft romance silently with him. I hugged him tight from the back and he cuddle my leg with his finger. I felt an intense feeling of attraction with him.

I just want to say that I miss him so damn much. So damn much. I don't know how life will unfold for both of us. I just know that I miss him near my body and soul like I missed another addiction in my life.

Mike, I wish this life work out for you and me.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

2013 Annual Convention

Been so long since I write again in my blog. It was a great fun laughter filled weekend for me. It all started on Thursday night. With drinking at Traffic with Fong Ling and Inn Cheq. Followed by meeting Cynthia. We went to sit at Paragon without paying any amount of money for drinks. We just sit there and chat so much of all our relationship. So fun, so fulling. I'm very blessed and grateful to have had such great friends to accompany me when I was all angered about what happened on Wednesday night in that Karaoke Room.

Reach home late like 3am! And sleep till 11am the next day. It was all de-stress. Wake up to a happy morning. Had some glitch fight again with Kenny on the phone. And it went on and on and on. Oh ya not forgetting eating maggie mee cooked by mom. So blessed! I really appreciate what I have. For all that I had, I had a huge desire in becoming a better person.

The convention started off with dressing up and taking pictures. So there are a few pictures here and there.
My purpose of writing here is to sum up what I had learnt.

On Friday night. He said to me over the phone of that's because how you are that is making him not giving me what I want.....

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Last Few Days

Tomorrow will be the last day of my employment with Amada. So looking forward to the new job. I am building back all the emotional support I need. The worthy friendship. The worthy relationship. The worthy conversation. It is not easy to build good friendship. Especially quality and good one. Especially with the one you love. Especially with the one you would always wanting to hug.

A new chapter will unfold soon in my life. I am excited and looking forward to the day I am in this new company. My friends all are supportive on my move.

Relationship wise. Still the same. There's not much of changes and I guess I became tired and bored of the same circle that keeps looping on its own.

The same situation. He claimed that when he loves me I betrayed his love. After so long, he still doesn't. Perhaps I am the one who caused everything to go down the drain. Probably I won't be able to get love from him at all. That's the way that's mean to be I guess? That's the way he and me supposed to be together. Sometimes I don't feel we are truly together. I am more of an extra person in his life where he comes to me according to his need. He did put effort to make us better. Something which I cannot deny. However, I find that whatever he is doing is just equivalent to zero when he didn't love me with his heart. For now, I would prefer to be on my own than to have a man who failed to love me with whole heart.

I used to write a lot back then. I realize I write so little nowadays. Chatting with him has been a winning point when written lesser and lesser. I uses lesser and lesser words to express a certain point. The lesser the better it seems. The lesser communication with him the better? I don't see how we can progress much with the same attitude of him. Probably I will quit very soon. I'm extremely tired and exhausted in this floating relationship with him.................