Dear Nic,
I miss you so much. I wish anything that happen in my life now, I can hold on to you. Day after day, I already get used to your silence. It feels like you are lost in real world and lived in my visual world, in my heart.
Today, something nasty happened. I read on the horoscope for tiger. It's so true, that I will face some kind of accident. Asking to be careful. And it did, it just happen.
I learn so many lessons lately. It may sound too old to be learning such a simple lesson.
Lesson will arrive to you naturally when you need it. But it is through pain, that the lesson can be bold enough in your memory.
I cried so much, I cried so hard, I tried so hard. It's all been my evil, my mistakes, my wrongdoings, my wrong understanding, my wrong conception, my wrong principles, my wrong believe. But never mind, everything had happen. I cannot turn back time and fix all the wrongs. Time never move backward, so don't waste your brain power thinking backward, instead put your head up and follow the flow of time, for time only travels forward.
Things that you love, even if it is not the things you love most, you must remember to appreciate it, treasure it, protect it all the time, take the BEST CARE on it, clean it, love it sincerely, and always always make sure the thing is in low risk of accident or damage.
Stop comparing, start value what you have right in front of you. Stop being greedy. One is enough, you don't need many. It applies not only on relationship, it also applies on you friends and family. You can't keep on changing friends, but treasure good friends around you. Take time to buy them gift, keep growing the friendship, keep growing family ties and bonds, that's what make living beautiful, wonderful, warm and safe.
Use money wisely. Don't simply waste it on unnecessary things. Money can help to create better lives around you if you manage your money properly. There's no object you can buy best with money. There's only beautiful feelings of love best invest with money.
The way I put things up, just show that I'm not a businessman type. I am just a girl who is going to work for a company with a good income and make the best in my life.
Working life has show me so many things more I didn't see before. And I start to think and wonder, why this person ends up like this, why that person ends up like that, why a man at age 40 is nothing at all- and we can see how sour he is to himself. But also why, there are some other people who can lead a very good career life, very good family life, very good personal life. WHY?
Have you ever wondered? It started off with he himself. What he want to create in this life. Know yourself well. You will know what is it you want at the end of the day. Everyone has a direction in themselves.
What's the most important thing you need to have. You got to have a vision on it. If you failed to have any vision, you'll probably end up lost and end up the sour soul when age catches you up.
I'm 25, I feel I'm nothing. Yes I had a good job to progress in. But in terms of my moral values, I agree with myself that I'm still very poor at it.
As I grow up, I realize there's so many things so much important than having a good result, a good grades, a good outlook. There are many people out there living a very simple life, not many achievements in their life but they are constantly getting what they want in life. People as such do not need achievement to prove to others they are great. In fact, they are at their best to themselves for their soul is always fulfilled with satisfaction on the daily basis.
Why wanting so many things in life and making your soul feeling desperate, empty, depress, stress, pressure, lonely, and difficult?
Does difficulty in life is what makes people grow? Do people want like to put themselves in a difficult situation?
Look around us, how many of us take a good chance to greet the uncle next door good morning? Uncle how are you doing? How's your daughter? Things like this. How many of us will have the courtesy to do such a thing? And do you know that this courtesy is such an important values in a society?
People nowadays, are becoming more and more personal. They think they can socialize nicely by just going into Facebook looking at the pictures of others' life. What it is? Make a beautiful life of your own. Starting from today. Don't waste your time looking at other's life. Start sketching your own one today.
I'm talking too much of general things.
I want to say something about him here.
God gave me a beautiful man, I didn't treasure it well enough. This is definitely my own wrongdoings. I accept it, I learnt the lesson and I promise myself no second time of same wrongdoings.
It's a lame excuse if I say to myself that this all happened because I am not sure of my direction, and what I truly want. If you don't know your direction and goal, then better off don't get involve in anything. It's really bad to be with someone cause of the fun you see you can obtain.
I had left Sim. We both are no more. The lesson is, be firm in your decision. Once decided move on. Do not look back. Do not let what happened in the past damage what you possibly could have in your current or future life. It was such a simple advise to take from anybody out there, but I couldn't apply it on myself until I lose everything I learn it now. Again, no second time of repeating this same mistakes. It has been repeated for quite long time. And now I will not let it happen again in my life.
Time. Incident. As time travels, incident happen. Once incident happen, things will never be the same again. NEVER. People may give you a few chances before, but once you failed to hold the chances carefully on you hand, you lost everything. When things happen, people make decision and their decision is firm as well. Choices are for you to make when people haven't make the final decisions. Once the decisions is made, you can not change it any more. The decision is FINAL.
People say, just forgive and forget. Yes you may do so, but not repeatedly over the same thing. I can forgive my friend stepping on my foot for once. I can also forget it. But if my friend steps on my foot everyday, and claimed that it's accidentally. And each time he steps on it, he said ops, will I be able to forgive this friend? NO. I probably will scold him if I still care to be friends with him, or I completely ignore him. And can not forget his immoral act on me.
That's best describe what had happen. I'm the one who is doing the stepping repeatedly.
Do not repeat in your mistakes. Avoid it best. Do not repeatedly talk to your friends on the same thing over and over again, people will get bored over it. It's the same thing, I keep sending him the same messages over and over again. He probably is bored over it. It's keeping his interest on my messages lowest. Maybe I can come up with something interesting. Some joke to cheer him up, some stories to make his day better, some encouragement, some positive situation to be inspired from. Yah. I should stop sending all the boring messages that reminds him how sad we both are. I should create some attractions. Yeah. But not now. He probably delete all the messages I send to him. Probably he isn't reading any of it. He just oh. it's from 016-4588789, select all, delete. Settle. No fuss.
