Hang On or Move On?

Maybe I am a good writer.

Maybe I am a good singer.

Maybe I am a good speaker.

Maybe I am a good entertainer.

Maybe I am a good motivater.

Maybe I am a good wife.

Maybe I am a good mother.
Maybe I am a good reader.

Maybe I am a good salesman.

Maybe I am a good mentor.

Maybe I am a good leader.

So, shall I continue here or elsewhere?

Where should my journey continue?

What should I be doing next?

Ask myself within.

What is my direction.

What is my speed.

What is my ambition.

Broken

Feels so broken inside.
Oh I miss you so much.
And also I need to let go.
Can't we just make sweet love.
And forget about the world.
Can't we just be greedy with sweet love.
Forget about every other things.

I never regret the time we had together.
I just regret I pushed you away.

Time spent with you felt like total blessing from above.
The chemistry we shared are nevertheless the greatest love of all

Beating Dangerously

Every message I sent for you means evil
Every thought I have about you means evil
Every feels I have for you means evil
Every dream I have on us means evil

I cannot bear to see myself to be in love this man. Evil is the way that causing every downfall of a person's luck. I'm here halfway climbing up. The climb is not long enough for me to feel satisfy enough and I just don't wanna drop like that just to re-climb. As much as I want to make sure that my pathway is clear, I will have to guard against my sin.

No matter how beautiful the love we can share, it is better leave it untouched!! For once any party stepped into this dangerous love, it only means hurting everyone altogether.

Everyday, I told myself pull out from this game. You're not strong enough to play. Just flag the white card as means of surrender.

My sense:
Told me that this is not as simple as I think. This has to take a lot of self control to survive.

Inside of me:
I'm scared. I'm damn fucking scared that I'll fall into this pool of life disaster again. I damn need to avoid it before any big problem coming up to me. I'm so worried, so worried, that all the things that I'm worrying will happen.

Action needed:
Chop off everything. Stop right here. No more text. No more voice. No more pictures. Deletes everything. If you can do all the deletion, you survive the first step of maintaining my climb up to the top. 

Excited Excited!!!!

Really feel good planning for this coming KL trip.
Happy to be able to make plan with KL colleagues on Friday noon for lunch.
Happy might be able to meet up with Selina, Jane and Lynne.

My heart is flourishing again. Yuhooooo.

The whole trip is planned carefully.

Since I am putting little high hopes, I'm having higher expectation on myself.
Wanting to have the best of the best attire in the conventions.

Hope I can excel this time in my appearance to meet many faces in this event.

Yah, I will bring camera there. Yup Yup Yup.

Endless Dissatisfaction

Where I am right now, can only mean dissatisfaction.
What I actually want, has not arrive yet.
What can be challenging is, more and more patience.

My job has no meaning sometimes.
I cannot see this is where I am heading anymore.
I need more challenge to keep myself balance and alive.
This is not right, no no, this does not feel right.

My dream. Speaker. Now, I'm on the right path.
The only thing that feels right so far.

My goal. Learning and reading many things.
All been stagnant, because I'm enjoying my time being lazy.

A big issue hit me hard inside.
A big desire for change in my job.

I am only surviving in my job.
Everyday feels so helpless.
Everyday feels reluctant to wake up.
What am I to do with this condition.

Back from Japan with initial better emotions.
Then back to square one.

What am I suppose to do with this.
How am I suppose to handle all this.

I damn fucking need new motivation to survive in my work!!!!!

Wonderful Time

Life is like a movie. The best part of life is back after a cycle. Happening right now. Feeling the bits of glorious love vibrating warmly in my heart.

Feels like floating on top of the world. The feeling is just amazingly awesome and wholly great. People around will fail to condemn me, for my heart is in joy.

One simple phrase "I feel alive".

Cheers to the world. To all the beautiful people, to all the beautiful soul I met in my journey of living. I cannot thank enough for all this wonderful and amazing events in life. My heart is fill with all that is needed.

Riding on the cloud, moving with the wind, rising with the sunlight. Praise this life. Love this life to the best the best the best and only the best.

Business Trip

This is the country I'm sent to by my company for freshman training. I was chosen to attend.

It may sound very exciting and good to most of you. But no, I don't feel that way. I feel a sea of worrisome, fearsome, and nostalgia.

It is almost the end of winter. It's cold there. I only experienced Melbourne before. That was only autumn, and I already cannot stand the cold. This time to Japan, it's going to be even colder. Hope my body can stand the cold.

Lots of preparation to make. Souvenirs. And present to make people remember me? Aha....

I want to do my best this time though. This travel will give me a real feeling of dream come true for sure. Again this is what I had always been dreaming of when I was in school. The ecstatic feels will flood up my entire body.

Going to prepare sum of money to buy souvenirs for all friends and family around me. With them, this trip to Japan became meaningful. Lots of shopping coming its way. Yoooohoooooooo.

Gonna capture a picture of my face where dream came trueeeeeeeeeeee.