Endless Dissatisfaction

Where I am right now, can only mean dissatisfaction.
What I actually want, has not arrive yet.
What can be challenging is, more and more patience.

My job has no meaning sometimes.
I cannot see this is where I am heading anymore.
I need more challenge to keep myself balance and alive.
This is not right, no no, this does not feel right.

My dream. Speaker. Now, I'm on the right path.
The only thing that feels right so far.

My goal. Learning and reading many things.
All been stagnant, because I'm enjoying my time being lazy.

A big issue hit me hard inside.
A big desire for change in my job.

I am only surviving in my job.
Everyday feels so helpless.
Everyday feels reluctant to wake up.
What am I to do with this condition.

Back from Japan with initial better emotions.
Then back to square one.

What am I suppose to do with this.
How am I suppose to handle all this.

I damn fucking need new motivation to survive in my work!!!!!