Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Glad that 2009 is ending soon. HOORay!! Know why I am feeling all excited of 2010? Because I can leave MMU very soon and 2010 marks the end of my university life. Can't wait for working life, it's gonna be fun and excited!!!!

Yesterday talked with Chor Win, my soon brother in law. And he told my sister that in order for someone to excel, he needs to enter the right field and be leader of that field. Gosh..... He is so right. I need to be leader of some field I am good at. hmmm

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Each New Day Brings Fresh Hope

This is the quote painted on the wall of my class room in Form 5. When I go to class with the blur and sleepy face, I look up at the wall and it's true that Each New Day Brings Fresh Hope. It feels like it's a brand new day, yesterday or what ever in the past doesn't matter, because today is a new day and fresh hope can be instilled.

I wake up each day feeling depressed, addicted to the game of my life Rangnarok Online game. Or I get addicted to MSN chatting or hours and hours of phone call in the wee hour with guy.

That's Form 5 life and it really shocks me that my life could get out of range. I remember those time where my breathing was hard, I sleep more than usual. Almost everyday I took afternoon nap, with my school uniform on, under running fan.

There's this SPM exam coming, and I am not preparing much, I was lazying and too afraid to face it. Was playing game whenever chance hits, because gaming brings all the trouble away. When I was gaming, I can't think of anything in life but only keep concentrating on my character inside there. I made lots of friends inside, I still remember a girl by the name ~Kui~ who is a priest, will always get me into her party. She was two years older than me, and lived in KL. Now we had lost contact and I wonder where is she now. I would ask her to join my new private RO server.

The feelings of finishing Biology paper was great. Right after the paper, I walk out to the corridor, look up into the sky and whisper to myself that I would never ever have to study Biology ever again in my entire life. Fact is, I never really finish studying the whole syllabus of this subject. I only did my revision for Form 4, and only few chapters for Form 5. My ambition was to become engineer that time, and so Biology has got nothing to do with it.

The feeling of getting SPM over was great. I would never want to go back to that again.

Because of what I had go through, I never ever again can strive in my exams any more. The feelings of expectation in result will make my breathing difficult, and my body numb. I don't want that.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

There's a test tonight

No matter how hard I study, I still think that I don't belong to those who will want to score in exam. Been thinking much today. About my life, my future, my emotion, my thinking, my character, my personality, and my behaviour.

I always believed I am more than who I am today. Had been screwing up a lot because I could not seem to find myself in a place where I truly want to strive, as in found something at somewhere where my dream lies within. Got what I mean here? Confusing.

I take a moment to look into myself. I know who I am, I know what I want. The confusion is, getting what I want might destroy some other things I had. And is it worth sacrificing them? After getting through all the kinks, and stitching them back, I wonder if I will ever had the energy to destroy the fear and the limitation I had drawn in me. Can I lead a life without fear? Can I find back the jolly me, carefree me, brave me, cheerful me, confident me, faithful me ever again?

Yeah, I had grow up and become much more matured than before. People around had been given me too many limitation in life that I had to keep up with. I cannot this, I cannot that, if I do this, will cause this and that to become like that.

Am I a control-freak? hmmmmm

Saturday, October 24, 2009

My KL life

Getting ready for part time job at PC Fair, earning about RM100 per day.

This is my pay cheque for ITP, RM600 is consider satisfying for a student, where there's no task no responsibility, played Restaurant City almost every hour. Sound sad, torturous mentally, but still have to go through it with positive attitude. It is a do nothing job.


Found this part time job online, one day RM80 work for 8hours, one hour is RM10. Good pay, but the place is quite far away from my house, but again there is no much customer here and I just have to stand there and dreaming away. Another "do nothing" job.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Can will changes destiny?

Sometimes I wonder, how much a person's life can change with will, enthusiasm, and very strong determination. How far can a person bring his life to change with such high devotion for what he wants in life when money, family background don't allow so?

If what he wants in life is too far away from what he have, what he is capable, then can he still achieve what he wanted so much in life??

Or should we hold back to reality, limiting our dreams, limiting our imagination, limiting our ambition in life by weighing realistically of what we are capable in the most factual way?

How could we change our life, change our destiny, and change our attitude that has been inside us for 2decades?

Even if I realised all this, what can I do to save myself from the fact of how the flow of society is forcing me hard from my back?

How can I change my destiny? This is the largest fear in my life that I had stop thinking about it for quite sometime.

I know I want this dream very badly, that I will do whatever it takes to achieve it. And then I think about the fact of settling down and building my own family. And then I think about the fact of leaving everything I'm comfortable with for something I want. And then I think about how much money I need to give a kick to that dream.

It is all only dream, no?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Fate or will

Can my will change my fate? I am still sticking to my decision. I don't see any value that could make me feel "I want this forever"

Thursday, October 1, 2009

First blog with my new hp

Bought myself a smartphone. It has been a month long, but i only start using it now.

September was a fine and sweet month, besides all the drama i had set up.

Today, was his birthday. I had made plan that we both have a fine dining on my lifetime favourite at Victoria Station. This plans nearly fails with too much of critics from my sisters.

We went to watch "Where got ghost" at student price and pick my sister from library after that.

Went straight to my lifetime 4avourite Penang rojak which
djime
ddiWWS

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

2 more days to Home

I want to leave this office as soon as I can. Tonight I must be clearing all my things, because tomorrow I'm leaving. Not so sure if I will come back here any sooner.

Okei, I will go to my old house to move some of my things over. At my current place, I will have to pack everything neatly so that I can be away peacefully for 4weeks, that's a month long.

1st October is so near. And I haven't get my things sorted out. As in my title of my FYP. I'm not so sure of what I want to build. I just know I want to do something with PLC. Can I do even more than that??? I doubt my ability you see. But I'm sure that I can write good programme using ladder diagram.

Seriously need to get my researh done today. So it is 12pm now. Going to keep looking at it until 5pm. 5hours of research, hope something can be done though.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Empty and lazy weekend

Guess what?!

It's 3.30pm and I still haven't bath. I'm so so lazy. The training at office sucks, not assigned anything to do and I'm rotting each passing day.

I will go bath in awhile and then read books and sleep? Maybe.

My face's skin is very very terrible now. Don't know what I can do more to improve my skin. Did mask for my face d.

my plan is, next week onwards i will start doing my industrial training report. and by the time i finish my training, my report is done and i can goyang kaki for 1 fucking month.

Emailed to Dr. Sim about my thought of using PLC for my final year project, but still haven't receive reply from him. Sigh........ I know he damn looks down lazy people like me. Wonder if he will ever reply me.

My boss don't care about me at all. The Automgen he had taught me seems like not applicable anywhere. I still prefer ladder diagram. Because I'm good at it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Blank


I hate sitting at office with nothing to do. At least give me some real task to busy with. At least give me some kind of duty so that I can feel myself useful.

Supposed at 3pm, boss would brief me on the new self-learning kit, called Automgen. It's 3pm now and seems like nothing is happening.

I feel I can't breathe a second thinking how empty my job and life is. I'm worried, feeling insecure of many things. Even so, I got to move on. Those days I can get intimate with my pillows and comforter is the best days of all. No worries, just lay there and rest like a useless woman and wait patiently for something good for me.

I wonder in this world, where do I belong. Always feeling unwanted to everywhere I was standing. :( emo and emo

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Days off

Been sick for 14days. No h1n1, but it's the throat getting infected. I saw many reddish kind of 'pimples' everywhere in my throat.

Been going to work less than ever. Rest at home cause I'm sick. What a great excuse. Boss wife messaged me today asking me how I am doing since I didn't message them yesterday and today.

Went to see doctor just now, get antibiotics for my sore throat and it only cost me RM28. This time round is Chinese doctor. Unlike the Indian doctor, I was charged God damn RM50.

Been sleeping for hours and hours during my sick days. Going to work tomorrow, which is Thursday and Friday after work, I will be heading to LCCT for my Singapore flight. Gonna be very excited about it. Traveling all alone to Singapore with flight! keke

Nothing much to worry or think about my current life, except for thinking what are the qualities I need from a man in my life. And I'm pretty sure I need the following as basic:
  1. Stronger than me inside out.
  2. Taller than me.
  3. Stable and matured.
  4. Loves badminton and swimming.
  5. A car to fetch me around.
  6. Gentleman, like never allow the girl to suffer for him!!
  7. Good family background, friendly warm and nice.
  8. Gives me surprise from time to time.
  9. Gives each other the freedom and space needed, not controlling and not jealous type.
  10. Financially capable to provide house and kids.
For now, I am single and available. I would only like to take Sim as my best friend for now until further development.

My work in Juravic is boring. Seriously boring to death. No task, no objective and just lead each day aimlessly.

For now, my hope and dream would to meet someone I can confidently assure I want him for the rest of my life, and also finish up my degree and enjoy my after uni's trip smoothly.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

At Internet Cafe

47 minutes left
RM5 for 3hours.
Damnd good HP 21inch flat screen, hp keyboard or maybe hp pc.

Computer good quality.
screen good
can play game comfortably, and what more, can also watch movie, play mini games, listen to music, watch anime, what ever it is, they provide very good database for the user to enjoy.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Everything is smooth today

God, I want to express my gratitude for your love for me.

Today many pleasant event happen.

Wake up late to work, damn tired cause I sleep at 2am the night before. Reach office about 9.30am, and damn stupid W1max is doing maintenance due to thunderstorm and rainfall yesterday.

Went out early lunch at 11am and end up at Starbucks for breakfast set, RM6.85. Drank half of the coffee and cause me not to sleep even until now at this wee hour. Oh my, my brain is so active.

Was so disappointing and went out to buy magazine and cost me RM8. Sad. Should have buy cheap magazine like CLEO. The magazine don't have content one. Just that the fashion and make up style very high class I find.

Then at 1pm, I go check the internet and it's working. I was so happy and quickly get my ass off to search for flight for my after uni life trip. Keep looking, keep asking, keep reading for hours.

Until finally at 5.30pm I have to book my flight, boss going home at 6pm. Messaged my friend she said I can stay at her place. Calculated everything and think that it is within our budget. So my flight is booked!!!! Hooray.

While booking my flight, a get a phone call. A guy want to view my room. And he came after 6pm and had a good instinct he wants the room. Yah, he did. He called me an hour later to confirm taking my room and he is paying me RM50 tomorrow as booking the room.

Pray hard everything goes smoothly. Pray hard he will move in to my room as decided, pray hard he will returns me all my deposit. Pray hard.

And I damn enjoy my 7pm drama. Really love the drama so so much. After the drama end, I quickly change and went down to meet my very good friend and we played badminton. It was fun. Really glad to have a friend like her.

We chi chatted and went ta pao food and went back home.

Worst thing of all is the toilet light is not working. Damn it. After I bathed in the dark, the toilet room light back.

Oh yah, when I was in office, I get a phone call asking me to work next weekend also. So extra money opportunity again. Hope there are more and more money coming in.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Morning at office

Yesterday, was not in the mood to work at all. Feeling pathetic going websites for hours and forcing myself hard to do something right for my report.

This work here don't suit me. If it was given to some other people, they might have benefit from the software given and the non blockage of internet access.

And here I am, early in the morning in the office and the first thing is to come here and blog.

Yesterday was a tired but meaningful day. I went to pasar malam again. This time with my housemates!! They are so warm. I have this housemate whom is lovely and sweet. She's really a good person, and that's why she has got a very lovely bf and a guy who is as rich as datuk will offer her to be her lelaki simpanan. No doubt, she has the quality.

Went to see her new apartment, they are moving out tomorrow. The new apartment is fantastic. With a masterbed room with only RM450, with their own toilet and the house was fully furnished!! It thrilled me a little with the big brand new fridge, new water filter, new cooking stove, new room's ceiling fan, newly painted house and new dining table. The house is so well equiped.

The lovely beautiful house made me want to move there and stay with them after graduate. Sigh... The house is nice, can cook everyday and everything is almost perfect there. Not sure of the housemate's attitude, but having their own toilet is no big issue.

Lately was down with PMS. I can feel my emotions wave is harsh.

Good news is that, I'm getting a part time job at KL PC Fair. The PIC said there will be commision in the printer I sell. So I plan want to fight for my commision, for better trip to Singapore!!!!!

It has been one and a half year since I last visit Singapore. My previous visit to Singapore was my one day trip there.

Bought a red carrot and a white carrot, plan to boil soup with it. The carrots cost me RM2, and bought bawang, RM0.80. Plan to buy some potatoes. Gotta make things right this time. Not keeping my food in the fridge till the whole damn thing rotten.

And I bought a very expensive magazine to cheer myself. But soon I realise that it's not worth the price.

Now, I read magazine more than books. Next month going to stop sharing internet service with them. Means no more online at home. hehe... I hardly use the internet and I'm paying it. If I download it only affects the quality of the line. So, I better safe my money up and spend more time on finishing those books I bought.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Everything is good

It feels like the cycle of my life is moving up, more and more friends come into my life and I'm trully thankful for it. I hope all this will slolwy lead me to stable life. I don't want any difficult emotions anymore. I just want to be happy, satisfied, open minded, and worry free.

Make new friends, keeping old friends, loving my best friends, good friends and friends around. Learning to forgive and forget. Learning to move on with less egoism, and willing to open up my heart for any friends.

Rainbow and butterflies finally came out after a series of stormy days.

Monday, June 29, 2009

A little PMS

Yesterday was super bad day for me. Start off with locking my room's door and forgot to bring a pair of socks with me. The jeans I'm wearing is too long and so I need to wear heels or shoe. I don't wear heels to work because the people in the office are short. Even without heels, I'm already taller.

Without much thought, I just slip my leg into my nice pink colour sneaker. It hurt my feet so much that it get 4 blisters.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

After Delta Year at MMU


Picture above is what I caught when I was walking around to look for sign where I will be working. A very tiny company's name stick at the letter box stating JesB. This is the doorway where I will be working 5days a week from 9-5.

My company is a very small company, but profitable one I think. There is only all 3 people working in one small office. My boss, boss' wife and me! Just the three of us. The work I'm assigned to do is ok so far. I get one hour lunch break, where I will go Jusco have my meal mostly and enjoy shopping with the minutes left.


Once I reach office at 9am, I get to take some time to somehow energise myself. Usually will start work at 9.30am or 10am. Then in between my work, I can relax myself anytime I want if I find it too tiring for me. My boss treat me nicely. Yay! I can go facebook play my Farmtown or Restaurant City or chat with my friend, as long as I get my job done. Whenever I'm late, it's okei. So I'm late everyday. About 4.30pm, I stop working and will have some good time with facebook before I go back.


There are lots of stress on the first week, because I am struggling to learn PLC program. On the second week, I was practically doing soldering one whole week. Next week will continue with soldering and then start with pneumatic stuff d.

This is the apartment I am living now. Named Menara Alpha. I rent a super small room, a master bed room, divided into two. Just enough for one, and can never be enough for two. Landlord made partition to it. Everything on the floor, it's an empty room. Housemates are okei. Mind your own business. Dasar tutup pintu! haha. Got Streamyx, just need to plug in your cable to your pc, got fridge but it is always full and hardly find space for me to keep my things, got stove with real gas tank, got auto washing machine, got water heater somemore. What else can I demand more? Just that the toilet is not very clean no matter how hard they had washed it.

This is not a new apartment, a very old one. I made the right choice of staying here because, I can walk to work (my work very near to Jusco), I can walk to LRT station safely, along the road to LRT, there are rows of shops left and right, full of food, full of different types of food, can get almost all the basic needs around here, and easy access to bus also lo. No worries of being stuck at one place like how I felt at Melaka.




This is me! Ta da........
My new hair cut, RM22 for student price for a professional stylist. haha...

At HQ GGA for high tea get together, picture above is with Xien Yee. The food is not as I thought.


With Kah Ling at Taman Tamadun Islam, Terengganu.

In the bus with Kah Ling again, I'm wearing Pink colour baju kurung for dinner with Terengganu's MP.


With Seat Fang and Woey Ching the first night at Terengganu.


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My New Life

Like I said before, I had my own room now. My room is very small but still can stay lah... Will upload picture of my room soon when I am free. Anyhow, I like my room cause I had arrange it properly.

The day I finish my last paper was just one week and 3days ago only. Today I finish my 3rd day of working. My time at work was very contented. Seems like after 3years at Uni, the day I step into this company only I start finding myself being taught and learned in a correct way and environment.

My manager gave me a very brief history of his company's growth. And that makes me trust him, trust his guidance.

Life is good. Really good even though I am all alone. I like it when I can go back home without anybody in my room to make unwanted noise pollution.

My room is very quiet if I didn't play any music. Since I am all alone, I enjoy playing music because I can enjoy my speaker. hehe. No need to wear headphone or what so ever.

Before I come here, I thought I would have so much free time to blog. But now did I realise I barely have enough time to rest.

Going to take my bath, clear my room and start writing diary for my ITP. That's it.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Coming new life

I've got myself a small room at Menara Alpha, RM250 per month. I didn't see the room but I let my friend to pay the deposit and get the keys for me. He said the room is really small. Can only place one matress and it's already 70% of the room already. Imagine how small it is. Still imagining how my room would be. It seems like ages to me since I last have my own room.

Currenltly staying in shared room. I just can't bear to live with other people in my room anymore. I want my personal space where I can do anything I like without thinking if I had step over the line as a roomate. I still don't like it when anyone play music in my room. Can't help it. And I like to listen to songs using my speaker.

Can't wait to leave Melaka and move to new life temporarily at KL. I was imagining how beautiful life can be having my own world in my room. I don't have to tolerate sleeping with the lights on, tolerate in the room of having to listen to songs I don't want to and most importantly the cleanliness of my room is solely on my hand. I don't have to see dirty floor done by others.

Let me make it clear, that I will not share room with anybody June 2009 onwards. I will make sure I won't let myself suffer anymore tolerating others in my own room.

Kinda happy and excited of how my new life in my own room will be. There will be so much time for me to slowly enjoy a cup of Milo listenning to music, slowly think whatever I want in utmost peace and harmony.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

New Hiding Place

Yesterday, I packed all my assignments and decided to get serious with it by getting out of my room to somewhere I can seriously put my mind on.

At first, I plan to go hide at FET 3rd floor, but it is always filled up with class. I need a place with computer and damn fast internet speed. Library's internet is fast, but the monitor and PCs will boil away inspiration to do assignments.

So, I thought give it a try to CiTS lab. Surprisingly, the place was equipped with new PC that come with LCD screen!!! Not only that, the chair is brand new and I'm going to stick my ass there for hours. The internet connection was superb. Easily I can get into any websites and my research for my assignment was so fast and efficient. Not only that, the mouse is ergonomic, the table is wide and I can spread out my notes on the table without having a fuss.

There are so many factors I need to compromise working at my desk back in my room. Though I have wireless keyboard and mouse, the small table wouldn't serve me enough to freely open up my notes. I tried keeping unnecessarily things away, it still didn't work. Small table means small space.

Not only that, my room was right beside big busy road and it's so noisy with ger ger ger ger ger sound.

Lately many issues coming up among everyone in the house. It's annoying to face people like that in the house especially when all my important things are not moving yet.

Neural assignments dateline is so near and I don't know if I can come up with something today or tomorrow. Next week presentation. Finish planning for Embedded assignments, another round of checking and we can start ordering the components. Hope that everything will be fine at the end of the day.

45 minutes more I will be in the Rich Dad Poor Dad board game competition. I am wearing blue now, wonder if I would win. Like Jack Canfield book said, if you believe it you will achieve it. So readers, I believe I will win the game and come home with RM300!!! Yeah~~~

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Life Before Me

Yesterday I went to Popular and bought this book, Mahathir Mohamad's illustrated biography. It's a comic of his life story and I like it. The story starts with him borned as a small little baby. hehe.... After pages of it, I think he is racist since young. haha..

Lately I've been connected very much to older generation stories, especially the life during war.

I watch this 1.30pm drama, about life at China and all the war and poverty with no rice to eat and no money that forced them to steal. The love of a family that is so fine even when they don't have anything in life, but merely rice for meals. They eat watery porridge everyday. If there is rice for them, it would make them happy. Just the same way when we go buffet.


Then I watch another drama at 11pm, also about war, titled war and destiny. The story of Japanese ruler in China. They suffered very badly during the world war 2. The torturous act did by Japanese in the history is screened in the drama to create awareness for the younger generations of what Japanese had did to the Chinese.



I read this book, Frank McCourt. I'm in love with the book. It makes me feel so fine reading his memoir. I found this book at Jusco Bandar Perda when I'm back at hometown. The love story was sweet! And his life journey was inspiring. Of how from a man of nothing when he is 18 stepping into a land of America with merely enough money for him to survive. From there the story begins. Working as toilet cleaner, in Biltmore Hotel for his first job. I adores his passion of reading. He'll let himself hungry and run out of money but never fail to send the allocated money for his mother.

Then he was picked into the army when war at Korea struck and he did well there. In no time he become Leautinent and then Commander. Lazy to write further, but I highly recommend this book. You can easily find it in library.

I realise how grateful we are and shouldn't complain about life anymore when there are people worst than us right now and can still fill up their life properly.