Twenty Five

At a age, quarter age. Wanting to do a lot of things, energetic, didn't want to waste my time on useless things. But to really think about, what can I really do?

Without a guy who truly adores me. How can life be better? After watching friends with kids, I learnt that, there are many more out there living a life without a reliable partner in life. 

What can be better life for me? My job sucks, my relationship sucks. The only thing that don't suck is my family and friends. They remain goodly. 

Man in my life is so hopeless. Feel like stop dating and just being alone. Being completely single and see what's good for me then. 

Mom wanted to bring me to the fortune teller. I guess, the fortune teller won't help much. Why life is so poor on me now?

Nothing good seems to come. Pretty much changes I had made onto myself. But, relationship wise and career wise is still hopeless.

Will I really quit my job on September? Can I carry on further? I have no idea what my future holds. The only thing I firmly owned is MYSELF. 

All the dates that I went out with seems like a waste of time itself. The conversation within has more damage than growth. What's good with the date? We both enjoy ourselves together. Can that really last long? Ahhhhh I really don't know.

I feel extremely tired with all that. I don't feel good anymore. I don't feel like carry on anymore. Why keeping a man who don't really love me? Why still keep going out with him when you know already he is not showering love for you? Why still keep him? Why replying to all his message? Why didn't I insist to quit? I feel so so so tired to carry on this type of complicated relationship. 

What am I doing?

Going to work everyday, on a job I don't see my passion within. A job to get the month end pay just to live my comfortable life. 

For now, I'm pretty sure that my passion is speaking, socializing, and connecting with people. How can I transform this into a magnificent career and soar above the rest of the world?

Everyday I keep complaining and grumbling whenever I have chance on the unsatisfied career, unsatisfied daily life because of my job. Why am I not doing anything to make this life a better one?

Unsatisfied relationship. Why don't I quit and slowly build a new one? 

Unsatisfied job. Why don't I quit and slowly look for a better one?

I am wasting my time. Dragging so much of things. Suppose to do my speech last week, and also this Wednesday. But look like it is not happening. Because I am moving towards the unsatisfied relationship.

Relationship with man should be a pleasant one, one that make me feel happy because both of us having mutual attraction. What am I having now? Sometimes, I pity myself for not having a good man.

Religion and Dream

Jesus Christ build Christianity

Prophet Muhammad build Islam

Buddha build Buddhism

Suding will build Freethinking religion someday..

Where everyone who believes in it lead a good life at their own.

Robin sharma has formed a new religion.. it's a matter that. will he spread it wide enough to the world and create a syllabus where everyone will worship.

I got inspired of dreaming about building my own religion, during my free days at uni talking about the world with Sim.

I do not fall into any specific religion, because I am open to all learning from all sources. 

I have a desire, a very strong one, to build people. To build people effectively and efficiently. 

But I do not want to waste my energy on people who do not believe me and on people who are greedy. 

Core value, positive energy....

As an engineer graduate, I believe in energy.
Energy cannot be created and damaged according the the law of science.

but energy can be transformed from one source to another.

The mind is the energy transformer.

Lead without title.

Dream without limitation.